As you can see, at my age – 48 – Art is still one big experiment. ~ E. J. Hughes

The above quote is so appropriate for me, it is easily something I would and do say. I love to play with new things, try them all out, and experiment in so many ways. In the past couple of months, I have been experimenting with at least 2 new mediums.

Spurred on by demo videos on the R&F site, I asked for, and was given for my birthday, a whole bunch of the R&F oil paint sticks. They are wonderfully, terribly messy to work with, so naturally, I love them!

I don't have a lot of pieces to show which have been completed with these, as I have found them to take a very long time to dry. I have a number of half done pieces, while I wait for things to be dry, so I can move on to the next part of the paintings. 

Since I normally paint on canvas when I use oil, I usually find that the paint will dry in about 3-7 days. I switched over to Ampersands Gessobord when I went with the R&F paint sticks though, and have found that some take a couple of weeks or more to dry. I am not sure if this is because all oils take longer to dry on the Gessobord, or if it is due to the nature of the paint sticks.

What I do love about them is how immediate they are. They really lend themselves to gesture type marks and movements. Very spontaneous, they feel a lot like play when I work with them, and I find I am less tempted to get into fine detail, so while I can still work figuratively, I paint in a looser manner with them.

In my next blog post, I'll be talking a little about the Encaustic painting that I started in the last couple of months.

In the meantime, have you ever used the R&F paint sticks? If so, have you tried them on regular canvas or board, and what was your experience? 

You can borrow all the flour you want but you have to bake your own bread. ~ unknown

So, it has been a while since I posted. I have been up to my ears in it to say the least! As you know, when last I blogged, I was about to have surgery - a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction using natural tissues. I was up for it, I was mentally prepared to lose the breast, to expect a certain amount of pain, immobility, but I knew I could deal with it. However, I was not prepared for what was to actually follow.

The day after the surgery, a second emergency surgery due to a hematoma that burst inside of me, causing me to lose too much blood, too fast.

The day after that, my partners heart failed, and he ended up in hospital for a total of 3 weeks, being tested every which way, in preparation for having the aortic valve replaced in his heart. He'd known he had a congenital defect in his heart. Doctors said that the stress of what I was going through, pushed him over the edge, and his heart failed. Luckily, he was able to get to the hospital early enough, and they were able to fix it with surgery after multiple tests.

Then just 3 weeks after my second surgery, the doctors said that the skin around the reconstructed breast was failing, and I might need yet another surgery, for skin grafts this time. We were in a wait and see mode. Sure enough, 2 weeks later, they booked the surgery, putting me back into hospital exactly 6 weeks after my fist surgery, for surgery number 3.

Through all of this, I have done my level best to focus on recovery, and to live as normal a life as may be possible. Naturally, I focused in on my painting. I had started a series of paintings before the surgeries that were to be in an exhibit called "Almost Edible". The idea behind the exhibit: evoke a sense of taste, or smell, or texture of food. Make the viewer look at the piece and think, "Mmmmm".

Here is a look at the pieces that were eventually accepted into the exhibit.

Inspired by Lindt

10" x12" Acrylic on canvas

Taste & Sensation

16" x 20" Acrylic on canvas

Champagne Dreams

12" x 16" Acrylic/mixed media on canvas

Brie Nice To Me

10" x 10" Acrylic on canvas

Party Time!

Plastic sculpture, now mounted on gold colored canvas Approximately 10" tall

Cookware Bouquet

Plastic sculpture, approximately 18 inches tall.

Here is a very short video walk around of it:

Food of the Gods

Sculpture: ceramic/mixed media approximately 24 inches tall

Here is a very short video walk around of it:

Lastly, there was another painting that was included in this exhibition, though not originally created for this specific exhibition.

Owed to My Father

11" x 14" Acrylic/mixed media on canvas

These pieces are all still on exhibit at George Brown College, in the Hospitality building, until the end of January, 2011. The paintings are available for sale on my Artfire site, as well as through the exhibit. You can see the original blog post about this piece here.

And, I will resume more regular posting now that I am over the hump, so to speak.

To send light into the darkness of men's hearts - such is the duty of the artist. ~ Schumann

Over the past couple of months, as I have been going through this whole ordeal of being diagnosed with breast cancer, and now approaching my surgery date on November 1st, one of the things that has been repeatedly said to me, is that people are surprised how positive my attitude is.

For the most part, I agree. Once I got over having heard that I have cancer, and got over the thought of losing a breast, the only real option, in my opinion, is to focus on what happens after. I refuse to live my life in misery because of this, and I do have that choice.

Do I have some fears about this? Sure. I am more afraid though of the actual surgery, than I am of dying of cancer. I am not even that afraid of pain after the surgery, though no one likes pain. Pain is temporary, as is the cancer. It's the actual surgery itself that scares me. My grandmother died on the table when I was 17 years old, and even though I know intellectually that they were operating on her heart, whereas they won't be going anywhere near my life dependant systems, I have that fear. Irrational, I know.

Once the surgery is over, I need to move on, and I need to live my life. I have prepared myself as best as I can, finding photos of post operative reconstructive surgeries, and reading about various patients' experiences. I have looked at the scars, I have cried, and then I have told myself that I can do this.

I have previously joked in this blog about how my paintings have had boobs showing up in them. Of course, I have had the surgery very much on my mind. Keeping my sense of humour has helped me keep things in perspective.

Somewhere along the line, when I was doing the found objects projects, I found some of those plastic egg containers that you can put toys or treats inside of, and once again I was thinking boobs.

I started a painting - one that was my way of saying goodbye to my breast. When my teacher saw it, he suggested a different approach, saying I didn't need to be quite so literal. He suggested "lots of feathers". So, I have done the art pieces both ways, because I really wanted to express this the way I originally saw it in my minds eye, but also thought that the other approach was worth trying as well.

Using the egg cups as breasts, but also as symbols of renewal, I gave them golden wings using gold leaf. 

With Golden Wings To Fly

16" x 20" Acrylic and plastic on stretched canvas

Next, I used found feathers from the lakeshore, and the remaining pink egg cups to create another way of saying it.

Thinking Beyond Pink

16" x 20" feathers and plastic on stretched canvas

It has been suggested to me that I should put myself in a place where I can be an example to other women going through this. To help them to have the same positive attitude that I have. I am not sure how I can do that, or even if I am the greatest of examples. I cannot choose their attitude for them. But I hope that maybe my work can show them at least one way of dealing with it. Maybe in this way, I can help send light into the darkness of someones heart, somehow, somewhere.

The world is perfect. As you question your mind, this becomes more and more obvious. - Byron Katie

After enjoying the found objects project so much, I felt like it would be great to repeat that kind of exercise. So, of course, I was quite pleased to find an amazing little "bird cage" made of wicker, with a little plastic bird attached on the outside.

What was the first thing I thought of doing with it? Well, put a cat in it of course! I came home to our kitten, and wondered if she would allow me to put her inside. Sweet thing that she is, she sat quietly long enough for me to grab a picture of her, then I lifted it off her, while I laughed maniacally, and uploaded the picture to Facebook for my friends to see.

I wasn't done though. I still wanted to put a cat in it for my found objects project. Now, I just needed to find the components to do that. On the day of my class, I still hadn't found said objects. Which is why, when my son came racing down the stairs for the fourth time in the past couple of weeks, saying he was late again, and needing a lift again, I was frankly peeved. I wanted to spend my morning figuring out my project.

Reluctantly, I agreed to drive him to his friends place, telling him to look out for peoples garbage at the end of driveways, or garage sales. As life would have it, just around the corner from his friends place, there was a house with a large Home Depot container for renovation garbage. My son thought I was crazy, but I rang their doorbell, and asked if I could look through their container for stuff to make my art project with, and - bingo! 

Which just makes me smile and say, ain't life perfect sometimes?

"Humbled"

L-12" x W-12" x H-14"

"The nude portrait is only incidentally about the naked person in the middle of the room." - Paula Brook

I love the quote that I have used to open this post, and these examples from the past two weeks are great illustrations of it.

In my first class this semester, we were discussing making art with found objects, and the upcoming work we would be doing with it. Not having any objects with us, with which to start though, we were told we could go to the studio next door, and paint from the life model who was there.

So, off I went to sketch from the life model, who was a slim man with well defined muscles, though not overly built. I figured I would do a fast sketch, then bring the canvas back to the other room, so as not to be overly influenced, and stray too close to realism. I wanted the finished product to definitely look like a portrait, but an abstracted one. Once I abstracted from the sketch though, in place of his pectoral muscle, was a glaring boob! I thought I was done with the boob paintings, that I had expressed whatever I needed to about my current circumstances, but clearly, my unconscious mind has decided I am not.

I really like this painting though. There is something in the colours and freedom of the painting, and it just feels right to me.

Abstracted Figure

18 x 24 Acrylic on canvas

Next came the Found Objects project. This was fun, as you don't really know what you'll be creating until you find something. First I found a cabinet with glass doors, so I took the doors off to use them for my frame. Next, I found a leftover container from a Kinder Surprise toy. Naturally, given my circumstances, that reminded me of boobs - again! So, I went with the flow, and allowed the idea that started to form take life. A couple of shoelaces, some string, a little wire and a light switch later, I had what I needed for this one. 

I had thought I would look for some material to use as curtains behind the glass, but my teacher said we should look at it against a white background. When we did, the lighting revealed some really interesting shadows and effects, so I decided to leave it as is. By the way, yes, the light switch does go up and down.  

Here is a second picture with the table in the background, so that you can see the lines a little bit better.

Opening Doors

Approximately 36 x 24, glass, wood and more.

After all this, I thought, really thought, that I would be finally done with the boob paintings. But, wait 'till you see what I came up with next....

Art must be an expression of love or it is nothing. ~ Marc Chagall

A couple of months ago, when I started my abstract painting course, our teacher advised us that the dollar store is the abstract artists friend. He encouraged us to look in the dollar store for things that we could stick onto the canvas, and find ways to be more creative.

The night before, I had been watching an episode of "Chopped" on the Food Network. Four chefs compete with mystery baskets to create the best and most creative food. In the dessert round, one clever chef took the giant ostrich egg they had given him, and made a custard and peach dessert. He turned a half peach upside down to look like an egg yolk, and surrounded it with custard to make the custard look like the egg white. Thus the entire dessert looked like a fried egg, but was instead peach in custard. With this episode floating inconspicuously in the far reaches of my unconscious mind, I went off to the dollar store to see what treasures I could find. Then, when standing in front of the styrofoam balls, a number of things clicked into place, and my idea was born.

I did not at first follow up on the idea, as I was busy doing the paintings for my classes, traveling, and pursuing other ideas in my work. It came to me recently though, that it was time to complete this painting, preferably before I have my surgery. Somehow,  I thought it would have some sort of healing effect on me.

To understand where the idea for this painting comes from, you need to know the background story, and why such an idea occurred to me when in the dollar store that day.

When I was 13, my breasts, were of course starting to develop. As friends started getting their first bras, one of them pointed out that I should probably do the same. So, I went to my mother, and told her I thought I needed my first bra. She said she would take me shopping that weekend to buy it.

When that weekend arrived, however, my father wanted to do a big clean up. He wanted the garage and the house cleaned, and he wanted me to stay at home to help. I explained that I could not stay to help, as I had to go shopping with Mum.

"Why?" he asked, "Can't she just get what you need?"

"No," I explained, "I have to go with her, because we are going to buy me a bra."

"Can't she just pick it up for you?"

"No, I need to go with her."

"Why?"

I remember wondering how it was that he would not know why. Perhaps he didn't know anything about women and bras?  "Because, Dad, I have to try it on!"

"What, try it on? All she has to do, is tell the lady behind the counter, 'two fried eggs'. "

It is precisely this sarcastic, wonky sense of humour I have, which is owed to my father.

And so, I present to you, my latest painting:

"Owed To My Father"

11 x 14, acrylic, styrofoam,  and a little bit of organza w/ribbon, on stretched canvas

Now, a couple of men have pointed out that these eggs, are, well, slightly larger than the height of regular fried eggs. To them I have answered this: "Yeah, well, the unspoken message, is that I was larger than fried eggs too."